


hindi na maliligaw

by starryeyed (silentghost)



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Chae Hyungwon-centric, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Multi, Not Beta Read, Parallel Universes, Recreational Drug Use, Sad Chae Hyungwon, Time Travel, Weird Plot Shit, lapslock, multiple drabbles under one (1) trenchcoat, the follow mv with all the dramarama vibes you could ask for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:48:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25328797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silentghost/pseuds/starryeyed
Summary: no matter what universe he ends up in, hyungwon never loses sight of them.
Relationships: Chae Hyungwon & Everyone, Chae Hyungwon/Lee Hoseok | Wonho, Chae Hyungwon/Lee Minhyuk/Yoo Kihyun
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	hindi na maliligaw

**Author's Note:**

> there's kinda a lot going on yet nothing at all, ngl
> 
> title is from the iv of spades song mundo, which i love a Lot. from what i know of tagalog it roughly translates to something like "you/we won't be lost"
> 
> before i go, the drug use tag is for the flowers from the all in mv, y'know the one where they get high while covered in blue stuff? yeah.
> 
> EDITED 11/2020: oh hey again. as vague as it is i like this story a lot. i rewrote some things, rephrased a bunch, and added one teeny scene.

they wake up one morning, and hyungwon is gone.

hoseok woke up first, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, when he noticed the seventh person in their group missing. he had pushed at minhyuk until he fell off the couch and woke everyone else with the loud thud. grieving has been hard on hyungwon so the night before they all decided to spend some time with him. it’s unusual for him to just leave without telling anyone about it.

“where could he be?” kihyun asks the empty spot on the floor where they saw him last. everything looks the same as when they fell asleep late last night, except the missing man in question. their bags still sit in a pile near the door. empty beer bottles litter the floor where they left them. someone even finds hyungwon’s medication and a calendar to keep track of the doses. today’s date is left unmarked.

minhyuk holds his phone to his ear, walking around. he’s been calling hyungwon since they got up. he passes by the study when he hears a phone buzzing inside.

“guys,” he calls. “in here.”

the rest pile in and take in the dark office of hyungwon’s father, now illuminated with the morning sun. there’s a large wooden desk in front of a packed, floor to ceiling bookshelf. a chalkboard is next to it, covered in charts with indecipherable writing and clock designs. hoseok rushes in with jooheon following close behind.

“i checked the backyard. he’s nowhere,” he panted out. “what did you find?”

minhyuk points to the desk. there lies hyungwon’s phone, almost out of battery

“he could be coming back soon,” kihyun tries. it brings little comfort.

“‘kyun, what do you think?” hyunwoo glances to the youngest in their group. changkyun hasn’t said anything since they started looking around the house, and he now leans against the edge of the desk as far away as possible from them.

“i think,” changkyun says, slowly, haltingly,” if hyungwon-hyung is gone, and we can’t reach him, then maybe he doesn’t want to be found.”

hoseok’s eyes narrow. “did he tell you where he is?”

“no!” changkyun shakes his head. “but i saw him get up, late last night. i thought he was just going to the bathroom so i didn’t ask him about it.”

“so you don’t know where he went?” he takes a step toward changkyun, desperate tears gathering in his eyes. “you’re the last person who saw him, and you never said anything to him? you didn’t think to make sure he wasn’t going to do something dangerous?”

hyunwoo and jooheon wrap their arms around changkyun’s shoulders in support. “no.”

“unbelievable.” hoseok walks out.

-

let me paint a different picture for you. an old, cracked tub filled with blue tinted water and even bluer flowers. a light, fluorescent and yellowed with age. air, stale and cold. the flowers glow.

hyungwon takes a shallow breath. he’s breathing. he’s  _ alive _ . 

hyungwon is alive and breathing and lying in the bathtub with-- minhyuk?

this is not the right time period. hell, is he even in the same universe? from the cursory scans through his father’s notes he was certain he was doing it right. here, the sky is an eternal gray from the amount of dust and ash falling. the air is sweet with the scent of some hazy smoke he can’t name. or maybe that’s the flowers. he can hear the others through the thin walls of the bathroom: jooheon chanting changkyun’s name, and cheering erupts when he accomplishes whatever stupid thing they were doing. the crash of a bottle on the floor as if kicked by accident.

“wonnie?” minhyuk asks. “do you feel better?”

he looks like minhyuk but not the one he knows. they both have the same soft eyes, the same nose, the same mouth, but this minhyuk has white hair and small scars tracing his weathered face. his hands, cradling hyungwon close to his chest, are calloused and a little bloody. he looks like he was just in a fight.

hyungwon glances to the side of the tub, where a small table sits. there’s an empty vial, bloodied clothes, and his father’s watch.

the watch is waterlogged, gears incapable of turning the handles.

he sobs into minhyuk’s neck.

-

the noraebang is loud. what’s much louder is the room they’re in, packed like sardines in a narrow can. the flashing lights and loud tambourines make hyungwon’s head spin. he never could handle his alcohol well, but being with everyone makes up for it.

as hyunwoo types in the number for yet another r&b ballad, hoseok slides into the spot next to him in the booth and speaks right into his ear, “you okay?”

he nods dazedly and presses a sloppy kiss to his cheek. the hands on the clock above the noraebang screen approach the four. hyunwoo finishes his song with a soulful finish. changkyun and kihyun applaud raucously. 

“i think it’s time for me to go home,” he finally says. they agree to call it a night and walk the streets together. a conversation with his father pops into his mind when they make it out of the room intact. 

hyungwon’s father showed him his watch once, its wide face gleaming. he said he made it himself, screws and all.

“it helps me remember my favorite memories,” he said. “i’ll show you one day.”

even with the knowledge of the killer hangover to come, hyungwon would want to revisit this memory all the time. the taste of freedom, feeling their youth slip past them day by day, the weightlessness of having these six boys by his side.

then his parents picked him up from the curb and everything went wrong.

-

his eyes are closed. water holds him warmly like a lover’s embrace. but it also drags him down, away from what he thinks is the surface. he opens his eyes and above him is a circle of light. a halo, refracted by waves. the pull becomes stronger, an unbalanced scale, a broken clock, thorns on a stem, vertigo, his father’s watch, hands spinning backwards until--

hyungwon wakes up in a bed with kihyun and minhyuk on either side of him. it’s strange how well they fit beside him. when hoseok lies next to him he’s a solid, warm presence. minhyuk and kihyun are a pair of matching socks. they fill out his corners, legs tangled under the sheets like puzzle pieces. so strange.

the seven of them are… outcasts. they found each other on the streets, and so they live together breathing the same sweet air, fighting against the oppressive government. the mysterious flowers only grow here, in this musty warehouse-turned-home. hyungwon’s seen hyunwoo and hoseok boil the petals into a syrupy paste that creates the smell that hangs around in their hair and clothes. 

they know he’s not the hyungwon they knew. they accept him anyway. one night, after a week of feeling not-minhyuk’s soft lips and the sharpness of not-kihyun’s jaw, the rest build a small fire to sit around and get high.

he sits on the floor between kihyun’s legs, holding the small pot under his chin to catch any runoff as minhyuk paints his face with the flower goop. he finishes his work with a smooch on his nose. beside them, jooheon talks to changkyun about their next confrontation with the town officials.

“hey,” kihyun says. he holds out his hand and hyungwon grasps it, fingers intertwining. “silly! not that!” he giggles.

he wrests their hands apart and places something cold in hyungwon’s hand instead. it’s the watch; the familiar weight sobers him up. between dodging bullets and getting zooted, he almost forgot about it. the skin that was under minhyuk’s fingers earlier tingles.

“i got it fixed,” kihyun explains. “you seemed so broken over it when it didn’t work.”

he smiles wide, and hyungwon thinks maybe he is still broken. he imagines the watch face, scuffed and cracked. he thinks of hoseok in his own universe.

_ this was nice _ , he thinks.  _ but i need to go home.  _ then he turns the knob and presses the button.

-   
  
  


INTERLUDE

when hoseok walked out, he never came back. why would he, when his boyfriend was missing and no one made an effort to find him? their friend group kind of dissolved after that. a clock, unmoving. minhyuk knows he still practices kendo with hyunwoo from time to time. minhyuk himself spends his days at the coffee shop, juggling between taking orders and entertaining changkyun. he knows the brunet blames himself for hyungwon’s disappearance, but it’s been six months and they still don’t know what happened to their friend.

kihyun is the only is the only one that thinks he’s still alive. he spends every waking moment reading and searching for hyungwon; minhyuk’s seen the stacks of books in his apartment.

it’s a rare slow moment at the shop when minhyuk receives a couple texts at the same time. one is from changkyun telling him he’ll be late to their meeting for lunch. the other is from jooheon. only four words:  _ Kihyun found a way. _

  
  
  
  
  


changkyun wakes up with a start. he blinks in the moonlight. the shadows move until he realizes it’s hyungwon getting up from his spot on the floor. 

“hyung?” he whispers. hyungwon looks back at him with a dull look in his eyes. 

his sleep clothes hang loosely from his frame, making him appear smaller. his mouth tugs up into a weak smile.

“i just need a minute,” he says. “go back to sleep.”

the funeral was held earlier that day. the six invited themselves over for a sleepover to keep him company. changkyun nods and falls back on his pillow.

  
  
  
  
  


“why are we here, kihyun,” says hoseok tiredly. they’re gathered in kihyun’s apartment, all six of them clustered around the kitchen table. kihyun dumped a stack of papers marked in highlighter and red pen on the table as soon as everyone settled in.

“there’s a way to find hyungwon.” he makes eye contact with everyone and waits until everyone nods in acknowledgement before continuing. “i read through his father’s journal and the books he had in his office--”

“--is that even legal?”   


“look, do you want him back or not?” kihyun’s gaze on hoseok is so intense he jerks back. “regardless of legality, it’s possible. we all need to work together for this.”

minhyuk leans forward and plants his hands over the papers, over sketches of watches and vortexes and even sketches of hyungwon. “how can we help?”

END INTERLUDE

  
  
-

a hand clamps down on hyungwon’s mouth as soon as his eyes fly open to meet not-hyunwoo’s.

“we need to leave,  _ now, _ ” he hisses. hyungwon makes a confused noise. “it’s changkyun, he snitched. got jooheon to jump ship, too, and they have kihyun held hostage until we give over all the art we stole."

he releases hyungwon and lets him get dressed. hyungwon’s never seen him this angry-- mouth twisted in a scowl, arms crossed.

“where’s hoseok?” he scrambles for the watch and a sweater.

“wonho’s in the next town over. if we meet at the rendezvous point before dawn we can catch the next train to seoul and hopefully find minhyuk at the other safe house.”

“and kihyun?”

he only gives hyungwon a sad look. hyungwon has little time to wonder where exactly they are. they rush down a hallway covered in artwork: painted figures, landscapes, and a large mirror near the ceiling. hyungwon stops walking and stares.

“we took  _ all  _ of this?” he gapes. looking at the portraits, he suddenly recalls distant memories of sneaking through air vents to enter museums and rolling stacks of cash. it seems so real, but this isn’t him.

“well, yeah, what do you think we’ve been doing for the past two years?” hyunwoo grabs his hand. “we gotta hurry or they’ll catch up.”

“too late, hyung.” changkyun appears at the end of the hallway with a gun pointed in hyunwoo’s face.

“traitor,” he barks out. “what happened to sticking together?”

“things change.  _ priorities _ change,” changkyun waggles the gun. “i'm not a dog waiting on your orders anymore. it’s time to give it up.”

“you know i won’t.”

hyungwon’s arms are grabbed from behind by familiar hands. “sorry, hyungwon,” not-jooheon says, then he hits his head with something blunt and everything goes black.

  
  


-

  
  


hyungwon sees it so clearly he’s not sure if it’s a dream or not.

the halo again, brighter this time, and much closer than before. a ring of fire. he’s standing at the top of a tall platform that can only be reached by a set of stairs.

someone-- no, a group of people are running up towards him. he looks down. he’s wearing a loose white shirt, like the people on the stairs. he thinks he can just make out hoseok’s orange hair. 

blink.

he hears something tearing. an hourglass, turned on its side so the sand doesn’t move. a rose on fire. a grandfather clock, chiming after years of silence. the blue flowers, wilted. a tarot card, upright. death, scythe raised high by skeletal hands.

blink.

then they’re in front of him. his friends, the real ones, with real faces and real bodies. they’re panting, out of breath. he catches changkyun, bent over, breathing heavily. they crowd around him, talking simultaneously about watches and him and string and time. hoseok’s hand rests at the back of his neck. stars twinkle in hyungwon’s eyes.

“you found me,” he says.

**Author's Note:**

> me holding up follow find you era ot7 mx: i jus think they're neato


End file.
